May 5th, 2012 | 
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What NOT TO DO During a Negotiation
What NOT TO DO During a Negotiation
Negotiating a successful and favorable outcome very often rests upon “NOT” what You DO during a negotiation, but rather upon what you Refrain from DOING.
The following list presents you with a set of simple yet very important guidelines of what NOT do DO during the negotiation process:
Don’t Speak the Following Words
Words are a critical component of the communication process. Sometimes they are so very important, that a few ill-thought-out words can spell your doom and break down the negotiation at a moment’s notice.
Here are a few words you should refrain from using throughout the negotiation process.
• “If…”
• “Try…”
• “Hope…”
• “Should…”
• “Can’t…”
• “But…”
Each of these words has a negative or weak (in terms of self-esteem) connotation associated with it that may very well ruin your chances of attaining a favorable outcome.
Don’t Think Narrowly or in Absolutes
When we think narrowly in absolutes we see our Opponent or the situation as being black or white, good or bad, right or wrong, clever or dumb, etc. We also limit our ability to think “outside the box”. We don’t necessarily have to have everything our way in order to walk away from the negotiation with a feeling of satisfaction. Sometimes we actually hurt the negotiation process by being unreasonably stubborn and unwilling to bend to the changing landscape of the negotiation.
It is NOT the most solid of Trees that stands up to the brutal force of the winds, but rather the Tree that is willing to bend and sway to the wind’s shifting directions. This of course does not mean that the Tree doesn’t stand it’s ground. On the contrary, it’s roots remain firmly entrenched into mother earth. However, because of it’s ability to sway with the forces of the winds, it is better able to deal with the changing weather patterns.
Don’t Accept Statements as Truth of Fact
No matter how much faith you have in your Opponent, there is every chance that they will say and do things that will strengthen their position – while weakening yours – that may not be based on truth or fact. As an effective Negotiator you must be consciously vigilant to this possibility, and should therefore utilize effective questioning tactics to ensure that what your Opponent is saying stands up to your Critical Thinking methods.
Don’t Rush the Negotiation Process
Sometimes we rush negotiations so very quickly that we simply do not have the time to identify potential opportunities for agreement that could benefit all parties involved within the negotiation process. In such instances it is better to walk away from the negotiation, to gather your thoughts, and then step back into the negotiation at a later time with more clarity and ammunition that will help you attain a favorable outcome.
Don’t Miss the Bigger Picture
Negotiations can at times plateau into a discussion about ever expanding small irrelevant issues that simply don’t need to be resolved. By getting lost in these insignificant details, we simply lose track of the bigger picture. What’s worse, is that we simply don’t realize that by sorting out the bigger picture will efficiently resolve a whole plethora of smaller interconnected problems; effectively killing two birds with one stone.
Don’t Instigate Disagreement
No matter how much you like to argue and fight your personal point of view – the purpose of a negotiation is to reach a favorable resolution that is most ideal for all parties concerned. It is simply not worth your time and effort to keep hitting your head against a brick wall if the wall is just going to stand its ground. Instead focus on building rapport with your Opponent, on finding common ground, and on tackling shared problems that will lead to a satisfactory solution for all concerned.
Don’t Talk without Listening
When it comes to effective negotiations, there are times when we should be talking, and other times when we must listen and hear our Opponent’s point of view. Sometimes it can be so very easy for us to get caught up thinking about what we are going to say next while our Opponent is stating their point of view. This is a red flag and a suicide notice that will undoubtedly cause communication breakdowns and result in a failed outcome that doesn’t favor either party.
Don’t Corner Opponent
Finally, do you really want to back a lion into a corner? This is no doubt a very dangerous situation to be in.
Don’t ever back your Opponent into a corner. Even if you get the result that you wanted from utilizing this tactic, your Opponent may very well end up walking away from the negotiation with a feeling of emptiness. In such situations you may have lost more than you gained including trust, respect and a potential alliance that could bring you even greater rewards in the future.
Guidelines for Effective Negotiation
The 1st Branch of this IQ Matrix Mind Map provides you with several guidelines that will set you on course to become a more effective and proficient negotiator.
The Negotiator’s Mindset
The mindset you bring into each and every negotiation is just as important as the techniques, tactics and tools you utilize throughout the negotiation process. For this reason we will break down the essential mindset that is required for effective negotiation, before analyzing the strategies and tools that will support you on your way towards reaching a win/win agreement.
A Negotiator’s Beliefs
An effective Negotiator has a powerful set of underlying beliefs and convictions that help determine the decisions they will make throughout the negotiation process.
The following 3 beliefs create the backbone for effective decision making. By taking time each day to ingrain them into your habitual patterns of thought, will give you a superior advantage as you progress through each negotiation scenario.
• “Everything is Negotiable”
• “No Negotiation is Ever Final”
• “Preparation is the Key to Success”
Flexible
An effective Negotiator is flexible in their approach throughout the negotiation process. They firmly understand that they must “bend with the winds of change” – adapting to their Opponent’s tendencies, tactical moves, and the information presented – in order to attain a favorable outcome.
Patient
An effective Negotiator is patient at all times throughout the negotiation process. They thoroughly understand that negotiations must never be rushed or hurried, otherwise mistakes and oversights can be made which could stall the negotiation process even further or result in an unfavorable outcome for all parties concerned.
Resilient under Pressure
An effective Negotiator firmly understands that negotiation requires a resilient attitude particularly under pressure. They realize that their Opponent will often attempt every trick in the book to try and sway the negotiations in their favor. Yet, they stand firm and persist no matter how unfavorably the negotiation seems to be progressing for them. This resilience eventually helps them to progressively break down seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and thusly moves them forward towards a fair and satisfactory agreement.
Indifferent to Outcomes
An effective Negotiator is fully aware that they must not attach themselves to a specific outcome. They realize that when they are attached to an outcome that they desire to achieve, that the more likely they are to become emotionally involved, which could lead to ineffective and hurried decisions that could sabotage the negotiation process and lead to a set of unfavorable scenarios.
Emotionally Proactive
An effective Negotiator remains in full control of their emotional reactions at all times throughout the negotiation process. They firmly realize that one emotional slip could put them at a disadvantage and may thusly ruin their chances of reaching a favorable outcome. As a result they stay emotionally detached from every statement that they make or that is brought to mind by their Opponent. Moreover, effective Negotiators only think logically about their circumstances in order to reach an effective agreement that satisfies all parties involved.